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since last wednesday, i have been sick. not just annoyingly sick… but molding-to-the-couch-because-i-don’t-feel-like-doing-anything-other-than- sitting-here-being-miserable kind of sick. i shudder to think what this means for the scale… my tummy bulge is back. i’ve been inputting food and haven’t moved in what seems forever. my fever broke the other day and i had some progress today at lunch (i made it through a little over half a day of work today) when i ate something and it actually tasted like food. i’m getting there… one day and pill at a time. the doc has me on some heavy antibiotics… it just feels like it’s not working fast enough.

that being said, i have had some time to relax and unwind. i edited some photos and watched some episodes of the shield. man, i love that show. it rocks my face off… really. jeromy and i are about to start on season six, which means i’ll have to be patient and wait for the beginning of season seven next year… the final season. i’m bummed already and having withdrawls over something that hasn’t even ended yet. this is why i typically don’t watch tv or don’t keep tabs on shows. it’s too easy for someone like me (with my addictive personality…) to get all involved in characters and crap. ’tis a weakness… but i usually just stay away from addicting nonsense and go about my life. just two episodes into this show and i was hooked. i swear they put crack in each action-packed show to keep you coming back for more… if one could intake crack visually. i digress… i’m blaming it on the congestion medicine. sorry. at any rate, i have knocked out some edits for red brick, which is nice. just got done editing a bridal session that was great… i’m excited for when i can finally post the pics onto my flickr after her wedding later this month.

speaking of weddings, i’m growing ever more excited about mine. things are sinking in … and i’m stoked. jeromy made the observation that i’ve been more wiggly ever since we got engaged. and i am. and while the actual wedding stuff is all exciting and fun and crap… i’m so ready to be married to jeromiah. i’m ready to move in together and be an official couple. combine accounts, be intimate, get a house, have a family (in the future), and just share each other’s lives to the fullest. just knowing that i’ll be able to support him on his bad days and rejoice in his triumphs delights me. i pinch myself every day. i used to think love was a choice. mutual goals and common experiences fostered feelings of togetherness… and that’s what love was. it was something you could walk away from and/or select. things either fit or they didn’t… they met the checklist requirements or they didn’t. don’t get me wrong… i had deep feelings for a few people in my past and never took my commitments lightly. but this is different. jeromy was never a choice. we have harmony in our lives and even though he’s not at all what i expected or the type of guy i thought i’d be with, it’s just bliss. so while having an awesome dress hanging in my closet and thinking about going to sampling cakes is just a blast… i really just can’t wait for when i can sign his last name after “mandy” and crap. we’ve been working on our spiritual issues. communicating more… participating in worship together. we’re finding common threads… and with those, i know that we can weave our solution. before meeting him, i would have never considered fighting like this… i was all about cut and dry answers/solutions. but that’s not love. or at least for me right now. there are people that don’t understand my direction or decision right now. frankly, i don’t blame them - i might have even felt the same way two years ago if i observed a similar situation. i have peace and i’m soooo excited for february - it just can’t come fast enough.

we’re meeting hambone at chili’s for dinner here in a bit. i’m dying to have some real food. i haven’t watched the news in days… from the little bit i’ve flipped through on the tube, i haven’t missed much. i just got my $100 apple store credit for my iphone refund thing. sa-weet. so many people are whining about lowering the iphone price… i frankly don’t care. when you buy new technology early, that’s just the name of the game. and apple has gone and done something they didn’t have to do to thank their customers.

i want my baby back baby back baby back….

time for chili’s suckas….