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it’s been an interesting couple of weeks.  news of jeromy’s and my engagement has spread and surprisingly, i’ve had a variety of responses.  for the people that know the both of us well and have seen us interact, there has been several congrats and genuine well wishes.  fun excitement all around.  then there are just the obligatory congrats.  and then there’s a third category… which caught me off guard.  i’ve heard from more than one person that this is all “too fast.”  i was shocked the first time i heard it and thought that they meant that having a six month engagement was too short.  but no… they meant that i was getting remarried too fast.  and it’s not an isolated case - i’ve heard this a few times over the last week alone.  i’m confused by this assessment.  i was in a marriage where my ex turned scary and did drugs behind my back.  he cheated on me and had no remorse.  i heard every lie in the book.  i left to get myself out of a bad situation and had basically nothing for a long time, save a handful of boxes i managed to claim.  from the day i learned that i was being betrayed and that he had no intention of changing, my ex was dead to me.  there was nothing to mourn or miss, if that makes sense.  i got my act together and got things going for a divorce.  i kept working hard at my job even though making it through the first couple of months of my separation was a daily battle.  but i plugged on and got my head right.  then enters jeromy - the most kind and supportive man i have ever met.  he came into my life soon after this personal crisis - but i see god’s hand in the timing.  we’ve dated and spent nearly all of our spare time together for over a year and a half.  he’s seen me at my worst… and in conjunction with my faith in god, has lifted me through it all.  it’s not like my ex died and i’m all of a sudden replacing him with someone else soon after enjoying a healthy marriage.  and it’s not like we divorced over something petty to where i would need to process what really happened.  so the concept of getting remarried “too fast” is a little odd to me.  i don’t understand what people expect for me to do.  am i supposed to just break it off with a great guy just for the sake of being single for “x” amount of time?  do i need to go through and date a bunch of losers before i figure out what a great thing i have been blessed with?  do i need time to mourn or process a relationship that was unhealthy and was on the brink of putting me in some bad and potentially dangerous situations (the situation seems pretty cut and dry to me)?  all of these actions seem absurd.  i guess i just don’t get it.   why can’t people just recognize what a bad spot i’ve pulled myself out of and be happy that i have the opportunity to love stronger and better while i’m still young?  so yeah… i’ve just been floored at some of the reactions as of late.  but all in all, the response has been mostly positive and i’m excited to share the big day with close friends and family who appreciate the situation for what it really is.

speaking of wedding stuff… there is no confirmed location yet.  it’s insane how much stuff one has to think about and consider.  can i just elope?  :)  i asked my dear friend, nina, to be my maid of honor.  she has been such a continual light and inspiration to me throughout my life and it really is the hugest blessing to be her friend.  whether we are close geographically or not, we’ve managed to stay in touch, which is something i don’t do with 99% of the people i’ve had to leave behind during my constant moves as a child/teenager.  this girl has a spark and is infectious and it’s just cool to have seen her develop and get better and better.  you can imagine how pleased i was when she accepted to be my maid of honor today.  totally rocks my face off.  kim, from my previous employer, will be one of my bridesmaids.  she is one of the most thoughtful people i know and was instrumental in listening to me during some really hard times and tough decisions.  she’s been through thick and thin with me and was even helpful when i was in the early phases of dating jeromy.  through her, i’ve realized what matters in life and she makes me want to be more kind and softer.   i have been trying to get a hold of my other bridesmaid today but have been unsuccessful.  i hope to get a hold of her this week so i can say i’ve found all of my attendants.

i was in el paso for work for the last couple of days.  i took my first commercial air flight, which was way fun.  el paso itself was not at all like i imagined.  the mountains were a nice change and some of the landscapes i saw were actually rather pretty.  the city is not as populated and big as i always thought it was.  there was no traffic to deal with… it was crazy.  everyone i met was super nice and i enjoyed the trip thoroughly.

i’m going dress looking this weekend.  just a couple of stores in mind to check out.  i’m hoping i can find something i like… clothes shopping is always a struggle for me, but we’ll see.

more to come, i’m sure.  there are several adventures that i’m simply too tired to type out for the time being.  :)  g’night.