mandaloo . com

so my gripe for the day has is directed at the public restrooms which have the little device on the toilet paper roll that prevents it from turning “too much” and thus, leaves you with a series of one- or two-square tissues for you to use. it’s annoying. and frankly, i think i end up wasting more paper since i’ll sit and try different methods to get a long string of paper. maybe this frustration is not universally felt, but still.

nikon has unveiled some new high end dslr cameras that are set to be released in the u.s. this fall. i’ve fallen in love with the d300 and am currently trying to think of organs i can sell to come up with the cash to get one (i only need one kidney, right?). it’s really not that bad… especially since my pricing for red brick has changed (i just need to migrate the new prices onto my site). i will be able to justify the cost if i continue at the pace i’m going for shoots. it’s just hard to let go of that much money - especially since my two d50s aren’t even a year old. but in this case, i bet i can make an exception to my practical side. maybe in november, i’ll be getting a super nice birthday gift for myself. hmm…

i worked out with my trainer twice this week. i’m hoping to make it to the gym tonight to do some aerobics. i can’t believe i am actually saying this… but i miss running (since i didn’t do it last week). last night, my trainer made me watch myself in the mirror so that i could pay attention to my form during some lunge/arm exercises. while i was looking at my form, i kept focusing my gaze on all the bad things i don’t like about me… my excessively huge legs, that wobbly part under my arms, my pale skin, etc. ironically, i felt awkard looking at my own reflection… and immediately felt self conscious. i’m hoping that not only will i become more healthy in the upcoming months, but i also hope that my body image will improve as well. i’ve always wanted to feel comfortable in my own skin. i know women of all sizes and shapes and i can sincerely say that i see physical beauty in all of my friends/family and such. i just haven’t been able do that for myself. i had an interesting conversation with my mom last night about physical health as it relates to our mental and spiritual sides. it’s cheesy, but there really needs to be a balance. i’m thankful that i’m in the position to have a trainer right now. she really is wonderful and she probably has no idea how much of an inspiration she is to me. i can tell that she genuinely cares for her clients and she always has me at the right level. i need to up my effort as far as fitting aerobics into my schedule goes, but i’m getting there. i went out in the field earlier this week, and while it was extremely hot and i was sweating, i wasn’t all winded like i sometimes get as i tromp along. my trainer has me doing one-legged exercises now, whereas just two weeks ago, i couldn’t do them. it’s improvement on some level. i’m getting stronger. just watch out - here i come!

i found out this week that a dear friend is engaged and i think she and her fiance are thinking about using me for their wedding pictures. i’m totally stoked about this and am looking forward to meeting her future hubby. i love doing this type of thing for people - i have so much fun behind the camera and doing edits. i love telling the story through frames. trying to capture the words and sounds and smells and emtion through images. i’m not even close to being the best photog in the world, but i certainly do enjoy it. at the bare minimum, i hope that passion comes through my images. i know it’s not going to happen anytime soon, but i really wouldn’t mind doing this full time someday in the future. but for now, i love my week job, so all is good.

i couldn’t ask for more in life. it’s never been so great. while it is super busy, and i get overwhelmed at times, it’s just wonderful. the last year has put me in awe of god, since all of these things are coming from him. i don’t deserve it. but he keeps showering blessings upon my head. the biggest blessing i’ve ever received is meeting jeromy. he truly is the most incredible guy. and somehow, the poor boy is under the impression that i’m the most incredible girl. we’re connected on every level and each day just raises the bar. he came to me at the best and worst time he could have met me in my entire life. at first he was an angel. then he was my healer. he became my best friend. and now, he is my soul mate. i can’t imagine any two people that can be as thrilled to see each other as we are on a daily basis. while we have had trials, it hasn’t been anything big. we have areas that we are working on right now, but everything has been approached with total respect and love. i told him the other day that i kind of feel bad at times… when i hear people say that relationships are “work” and you have to just “work” at it to make it function… i can’t relate. it all just flows with us. we just exist happily together…exponentially. i’ve always been practical about love. i could see how most anyone could be with anyone as long as they had similar goals. but for the first time in my life, i honestly can say that i can’t imagine myself with anyone else. it may be mushy. and i know it’s cheesy. but it’s true.

much to my disappointment, cas haley did not win america’s got talent. but that’s okay - he’s totally set for life now that he received the recognition he so badly deserved. i hope that he goes far and look forward to hearing new music from him. the guy that won (terry - also from north texas) was incredible… and i think the gig they awarded is more suited for terry than cas.

the month is about a week away from being over. i can’t wait for autumn. i love the cool nights and the holiday seasons. ’tis a bit early to start getting excited, i know, but the approach of september makes me eager (jeromy would label this as “impatient”) for such things.

i’m hooked on the tv show “the shield.” i had never seen it before last week, but jeromy and i have been watching the episodes from the beginning. it’s a bit rougher than what i would usually watch, but the flawed characters and story line have me on the edge of my seat - it’s like crack for your eyes or something. each episode leaves me hanging. horrible. this is why i hate tv and usually abstain from getting involved with a “show.” but now… i’m hooked despite. stupid tv.

i’m so stoked about meeting the girls from my old work for lunch tomorrow. i haven’t seen them in three months, which is horribly too long, considering i’ve been going through withdrawl from seeing them every day. i sure do miss my chats with the girls - they helped me through problems and it was just fun to have someone who knew what all was going on in my life. besides jeromy, i really don’t have anyone close like that since i switched jobs. seeing them tomorrow shall be most refreshing. jeromy and i are heading up to the property in palestine after lunch to go mow the lawn. i’m hoping that we get a chance to take pictures of random stuff along the way. . . maybe the photo op gods will provide a quaint fruit stand and a face full of character on the side of the road. one can hope.