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thanksgiving is in a week but it doesn’t feel that way. in fact, it struck me funny when it was pointed out last night that my birthday was next week. so weird. the last year for me has flown. i feel like i just now got used to claiming “23″ as my age. in some ways, not much has changed. in other ways, everything is completely different. heh… so goes life. 24, here i come.

tonight, pam came over after work and hung for a while (she and i both left work early for various reasons and she had to be in this part of town this evening anyways). i ordered some people and we just sat in my living room shooting the breeze.

my visiting teacher from church, anne, came over tonight. she’s a doll and i enjoy our talks a bunch. she even remembered my birthday and brought a little gift for me. such a sweetheart.

i’ve changed the lighting around my apartment and i’m digging it. the shelf is not yet up in my living room, but hopefully tonight, that will be remedied. i’m toying with the idea of painting an accent wall in my dining room this weekend. we’ll see how adventurous i get, though.

work has been slow, but it’s typical for this time of year. got some really cool news, though… we usually get a pretty hefty bonus around january or february of each year. well, apparently, profits were super high for 2006, so in addition to our bonus in a couple of months, they are adding $500 to it, which we will receive on december 1. dude.. this is totally a godsend for me because now i can give my loved ones a good christmas and give me a little wiggle room in my budget despite the fact that it’s the holiday season. the company rocks for doing that for us.

next monday, it will be jeromy’s and my one year anniversary of sorts. i had written something about him a long long time ago but just filed it away. it was a passage i wrote in my orange journal during the early part of our relationship after a friend suggested that i start recording the experiences i had with jeromy. it’s something i would like to share since he and i approaching a milestone in our journey together. so here it is, word for word…

a mutual friend told me that i should write down the story of my cowboy and i. and it struck me as a good idea to record how we met…

i was separated and nearing the end of a divorce in the fall. i went with pam to neo’s apartment to hang out for an evening. i had met neo once when the three of us played cards. i remember neo’s apartment being cold that night… but neo is always warm and keeps it super cold. i was on the couch with a blanket over me.

then he walked in - a sandy-haired boy with a t-shirt and jeans.

he introduced himself and sat on the couch next to me where my feet were. my socks didn’t match… but they never really do. i don’t know what all we did - i think we just watched movies and joked around - but i felt oddly drawn to the guy sitting next to me. and i’m not one for this type of silly interest. all i remember is having the strong urge to put my head on his shoulder. i dismissed the thought and believed it to be foolish to feel that way about someone i just met.

after that evening, i thought about him often. i would later find out that he, too, felt a powerful connection that night. he was drawn in upon seeing me and had an urge to put his arm around me - something that he thought was weird to feel for a girl he just met. months later, he was even able to recall what sock designs i was wearing.

anyways, after he and i met, we began calling and emailing each other. when we talked, it didn’t feel like i was getting to know him… it was like we were picking up from somewhere. one night, we were both bored and he asked if i would like to go for a ride. i said yes. he picked me up and he drove me around the metroplex for hours. we talked and talked. he asked questions. i answered. the more we discussed, the more we realized how “on-the-same-page” we were. i can’t remember it all but i know the conversation ranged to relationships to family to interests to life approaches. everything was clicking and for both of us, there was a moment where we reflected and went, “whoa.” i had never before experienced such a strong connection with any human being before. i literally felt like i had known him all my life and that we had a history of experiences on a shelf somewhere. it was amazing.

after the drive that one night, i did not hang out with him again until the night after my divorce was final. he took me on our first date… we enjoyed a dinner at olive garden and we had a evening full of laughs. when i got home, he sent me a text message saying something to the effect of, “i don’t know if i’m allowed to say this or not, but you looked beautiful tonight.” his genuine approach and honesty intrigued me.

in a matter of days after that (november 20 to be exact), we had hung out all day. in the evening, we took a walk by the lake. my heart felt like it was going to bust out of my chest. i told him that i had a problem. he inquired about what it was. we were standing on a rock with the sun setting - all picturesque and stuff. it was slightly chilly - as it is in late november. i told him that the problem was that i liked him a lot. he asked why that was a problem. i told him that i wasn’t sure how he felt about me. he told me that he had strong feelings for me. when i had been talking to him and blabbering on and on, i had my head on his chest and my arms around his waist under his leather jacket. i remember how it smelled. when i looked up, we both shared the most sweetest kiss you could imagine. we stood on that rock a long time. we talked in between kisses. we both recognized the problem… we had a genuinely large connection but both knew that a serious relationship would be a hard thing to tackle due to faith differences. he smiled and said, “we have quite the pickle.” and that’s what we’ve called our situation since… “the pickle.”

after leaving the lake, he held my hand the whole way home. at stop lights, he would look at me, smile, and kiss my hand. that ride back was memorable because we both knew that we had just triggered something huge.

and there was no going back.

for weeks after, i struggled with whether or not pursuing a relationship was the best thing to do in the long run, but we have been inseparable since the night at the lake. the level to which we connected could not be ignored or laid aside. so… there it is. it seems that every month, there are a series of events that confirm to me that this sweet boy could make me smile the rest of my days. i truly love him in a way i have never known. he has been my best friend and has seen the worst from me as i went through a difficult time in my life. i respect and admire his integrity, strength, patience, and wisdom. i never believed in that soul mate crap before… but he might have made that shift for me. i don’t know what will happen, but i can say that i am blessed to have met this cowboy with glasses.

so that’s it. since i wrote all of that many moons ago, it all still holds true. i don’t want to get all mushy, but i had to get this down before the weekend gets busy and i get distracted. my heart is full of love and admiration for jeromy. i still don’t know what is going to happen or what god’s will is for the two of us, but every moment i have spent with him has been better and better. my heart has peace concerning this relationship - i know that god sent an angel in my life to be my friend and my healer. i’ve learned more about love, understanding, and patience in the last year than i have in all my life. i, as a person, am better in many ways than i was last november. and i hope to say the same in 2007. i look forward to the future experiences i’ll have with jeromy and his wonderful family. i love them all so much as well. everything is a blast, and i feel blessed to have a piece of heaven carved out for me right here. i couldn’t ask for more.